Chapter Forty-Four: Roots of Affection, Hard to Eradicate

The beauty of mountains and rivers has been praised since ancient times. Lofty peaks rise like clouds, and clear streams reveal their depths.

A melodious tune flows from the zither, like a woman singing in a low voice. Accompanied by the sound of mountain streams, the music becomes ethereal and dreamlike.

Hidden in the mountains is a small manor, nestled beside a waterfall that roars with majestic force. This manor is called Cloudwatch Manor. The house is not grand, but rather elegant and understated, exuding a scholarly atmosphere as though secluded from the world.

In the courtyard, a woman plays the zither, a young girl practices calligraphy, and a small child chases a red fox while half-heartedly trying to catch bugs. The harmonious and carefree scene evokes envy in all who witness it.

“Wu?”

The music stops, and the woman stands beside the girl, reading aloud the character written on the white paper. The character for “Wu” is rendered with fluidity, like drifting clouds and flowing water, endless and evocative.

“Wu? Does it mean heartless, passionless, or something else? Xue’er, you shouldn't avoid yourself.” Qiu Hua looks at the girl’s restrained expression, speaking gently.

Xue Xue’s face remains calm, but her heart is unsettled.

Today was meant to be her coronation as empress.

Ji Wu Qing, you granted me the highest honor, the most unique favor in the eyes of the world, yet you deliberately let me go. What is it that you truly think?

“Mother, everything will be fine in time, won’t it?” The confusion is only temporary; she simply recalls Ji Wu Qing from time to time. He has always treated her well, and she cannot deny that.

“That’s hard to say. Just don’t overthink it.” Qiu Hua sighs. “Today should have been a grand celebration for your coronation, but who knows how things are now? Even though you’re not there, Wu Qing will handle it well, I’m sure.”

Palace of Anxue.

Plum blossoms have quietly bloomed, their scent filling the air. The cold wind carries a hint of fragrance, brushing across the man's cheeks in the pavilion—chilling and sharp.

He wears light robes, standing upright against the winter wind. He seems unaffected by the cold, showing no discomfort. His brocade robe is dampened by the wind, but he pays it no mind; his deep gaze remains fixed on the chessboard before him, where black and white pieces are interwoven in a complex game yet undecided.

“My lord.” A shadow kneels outside the pavilion. “I have followed your orders and conducted a covert investigation at all suspicious locations, but there are no results yet.”

Ji Wu Qing is silent, his handsome face expressionless. He toys with a chess piece in his hand, then quietly commands, “Continue searching. Do not err.”

“Yes!” As soon as the words are spoken, the shadow vanishes.

Xue’er, I have given you a chance. This time, when I find you, I will not let you go.

“My lord, the Empress Dowager sent someone from Hui Zhai earlier to inquire about the Queen’s health.” Miao Jian enters, maintaining his usual strict demeanor. “As per your consort’s instructions, I have dismissed them.”

“Good. Let them speculate among themselves.”

Night falls, and the mountain winds howl, swirling through the trees. Leaves dance in the wind, struggling free from their branches, swept onto the lake or into damp piles on the ground.

After dinner and bathing, Qiu Hua retires early to her room. Little Xi’er, still energetic, clings to the red fox and begs Xue Xue to take her to see fireflies.

“There can’t possibly be fireflies at this time of year.” Xue Xue gently pats her head, soothing her.

Xi’er pouts, and the red fox in her arms pokes its head out, stretching its neck to nuzzle Xue Xue’s palm, vying for attention.

Warmth spreads through her hand, like a fire, pausing her touch. The red fox presses closer, obviously enjoying the moment.

“No, Mother is mine!” Xi’er protests, pushing the fox’s head aside with a possessive gesture, her cheeks puffed in adorable indignation.

“Alright, didn’t you want to see fireflies?” She takes Xi’er’s hand and leads her outside.

The wind outside continues, lanterns swaying wildly as they hang.

“Mother, aren’t there no fireflies? Do you have a way to let me see them?” Xi’er peers into the darkness, her expression thoughtful.

“There are no fireflies now; this season isn’t suitable. But anything is possible, and you do want to see them, don’t you? Close your eyes now.” It had been a while since she’d used her special powers, and she wanted to try.

The wind lifts her long hair, forming graceful arcs as if a celestial being had descended.

“Mother, watch carefully!” Xi’er, clever and precocious, hugs Xue Xue’s leg, flattering her at just the right moment.

“Alright, close your eyes now, no peeking or there will be no fireflies.” Xue Xue smiles warmly. “Little Fox, you’re not exempt either—no peeking.”

Beside them, Little Fox sits licking its paws, lazy and relaxed. But the next moment, Xi’er covers its sly eyes with her chubby hands.

“Mother, our eyes are covered. We’ll be good and not peek.” She closes her eyes obediently.

“Mm.”

Xue Xue responds, squatting to gather some dust into her palm. Standing, she reaches toward the lantern, tapping it gently with her finger. A flicker falls from the lantern and lands in her hand.

For a moment, her palm seems to ignite, shining brightly and mysteriously.

She presses her palms together, and a faint glow flickers between them.

Finally, she opens her hands, but nothing seems different—the glow was almost an illusion. She blows softly, and the light scatters, transforming into tiny specks of firefly light.

Knowing her illusion had succeeded, she calls, “Open your eyes now.”

Xi’er, unable to wait, opens her eyes at once, her bright gaze reflecting the beautiful sight.

“Wow, real fireflies, Mother!”

She stares, amazed, as the fireflies swirl around her. The glowing lights scatter in the wind, settling on the ground and among the flowers.

Little Fox, eyes covered by Xi’er, shifts to break free.

“What are you so eager for? Hmph, I won’t let you see.”

Little Fox escapes her grasp at last, his narrow eyes following the dancing firefly lights. Curious, he swipes his paw at the scattered lights, his dark red eyes reflecting their glow.

“These are Mother’s fireflies for me, you mustn’t touch them!” Xi’er quickly scoops up Little Fox, stopping his antics. The two little ones tumble together in a playful tussle.

Little Fox tilts his head, hesitantly withdrawing his paw, but his red eyes follow the fireflies’ erratic dance.

Xue Xue stands quietly, dressed in plain colors, her black hair drifting in the breeze as firefly lights swirl about her. She moves gracefully, turning in place, a hint of a smile at her lips.

In the end, the three—a grown woman, a child, and a fox—sit on the steps, the two little ones watching fireflies while Xue Xue feels the gentle caress of the wind.

“Mother is amazing! Will I get to see fireflies every day?” Xi’er props her head in her hands, her face full of admiration and wonder.

“This is our secret, just between us, alright?” Xue Xue says softly.

“Of course! Xi’er will keep the secret, won’t you, Little Fox?” Xi’er pats her chest with conviction and pokes the fox, who is absorbed in watching the fireflies.

Little Fox lets out a soft yelp, glancing at Xi’er and then at Xue Xue, as if agreeing.

Night deepens in the mountains, silence becoming almost unbearable.

There is a sense of “the cicadas’ noise makes the woods even quieter, the birds’ song renders the mountains more secluded.”

The fireflies fade away in the wind, and Xi’er, feeling sleepy, grabs Xue Xue’s dress with her chubby hands, dragging Little Fox along as she follows Xue Xue to their room.

“Mother, can we sleep together tonight?” She rubs her eyes, her voice soft and sweet, like a sticky rice dumpling.

“Should Little Fox join us, too?” Xue Xue bends down to pat the fox in Xi’er’s arms, its fur silky and pleasant to the touch.

Xi’er’s expression shows clear disdain, indicating Little Fox can sleep on the floor.

But Little Fox, clever as ever, quietly hops onto the bed, curling up at the headboard, settling close but not too near.

“Mother, how long will we stay here?” Xi’er snuggles under the quilt, pressing close to Xue Xue, her little hands playing with her mother’s long hair.

“Doesn’t Xi’er like it here? It’s wonderful—mountains and water, you can do whatever you wish. You can pick mushrooms on the mountain, or catch fish and shrimp in the pond.” Her voice is gentle, though she’s not sure whom she’s trying to convince.

It should be perfect, yet her heart feels empty, as if something is missing—a yearning for freedom left unfulfilled, leaving her less joyful than she imagined.

“But why aren’t we with the old man? He always tries to steal you from me, which is annoying, but if he’s alone in the palace, it’s so pitiful…” Xi’er says, conflicted, her brows furrowing in concern for the old man she mentions.

At the mention of Ji Wu Qing, Xue Xue’s expression changes slightly. “Sleep now, Xi’er. You’re tired today.” She too is weary…

Indeed, as Xi’er says, perhaps Ji Wu Qing is pitiful…

In the end, the solitary king is left alone. Don’t leave him with memories.

If the king asked you not to leave, would you stay for him?

Her mind drifts back to Ji Wu Qing’s words, his tone gentle yet tinged with sorrow and finality. After this parting, how would he treat her, the runaway queen, if they met again?

How would she face him?