Chapter Eleven: I Hate You

"Where... where am I? Watermark advertisement test... Watermark advertisement test." Gu Yue’er reached out her hand, her mind a blur.

Right, she was inside the aerial vehicle, but it seemed she had fallen because of her own mistake.

The razor-sharp claws of a White-Eyed Demon Tiger slashed toward her, rending the steel plate in front of her into shreds.

Her body was now exposed beneath the open sky. She had already been gravely injured when she fell—her lower leg was immobile, clearly fractured, and her left arm couldn’t be lifted.

She simply stared as the White-Eyed Demon Tiger opened its bloody maw, lunging to devour her.

"Yue’er!"

From several hundred meters above, Xia Yan leapt from the flying vehicle, his body plunging like an arrow. As he fell, flames erupted from him in layers, even his eyes burning crimson.

He landed with the weight of a ten-thousand-pound hammer atop the White-Eyed Demon Tiger, smashing the beast into a mess of mangled flesh.

The flames that cloaked him, and the body of the now lifeless Demon Tiger, acted as a cushion for his landing. Yet even so, he felt a crushing force surge through him, his internal organs writhing in agony, and he spat out a mouthful of blood.

Scooping up the paralyzed Gu Yue’er, Xia Yan turned and bolted, moving with incredible speed.

Gu Yue’er said nothing, her eyes wide as she stared at him, tears brimming with confusion.

A Level 1 mutant Wind Leopard pounced, but Xia Yan summoned a ball of fire with a thought and hurled it at the beast.

The fireball struck true. The Wind Leopard howled, unable to rise.

Xia Yan knew well that with his mental domain developed only to 14.2%, he couldn’t wield his powers excessively, or he’d risk exhausting his mental strength and even falling into unconsciousness.

He had to escape the battlefield, and fast.

He scanned ahead—at least ten mutants blocked the way, two of them Level 2.

"Xia Yan, head northwest. I’ll meet you there," Tao Lu contacted him. "Ignore the mutants, I’ll cover you."

"Understood." Holding Gu Yue’er, Xia Yan dashed toward the northwest, aiming for the area with the fewest mutants.

A Level 1 mutant lunged at him; Xia Yan paid it no heed. The creature seemed to freeze in midair before crashing down, its intelligent eyes clouded with confusion. But Xia Yan was already ten meters ahead.

Run. Run with wild abandon. He could not stop. Here, the blood and gore had drawn too many mutants.

Xia Yan’s face grew even paler, his head throbbing as if torn apart.

Put her down—if he put her down now, he’d be free.

But every step forward was like enduring the cruelest tortures of hell. The pain was unbearable.

Yet he could not, would not, abandon her. She mattered more to him than his own life. Xia Yan would never forget that it was Gu Yue’er’s smile that rekindled his search for meaning in life.

Without her, he would not exist. To give her up would be to give up on himself.

That was a fate worse than death.

He ran—desperately ran, drawing ever closer to the waiting aerial vehicle.

Tao Lu’s Mind Control was formidable. Any mutant that lunged at them was struck by her power, pausing, bewildered, frozen in place.

At last—they arrived.

With one hand, Xia Yan seized the edge of the aerial vehicle and, almost hurling, tossed Gu Yue’er inside!

His mission was complete—he had fulfilled his duty. At last, he could surrender to unconsciousness.

His head felt as if it had exploded; he could not endure even a second longer—not even a tenth of a second.

He blacked out.

"Xia Yan... Xia Yan..."

"Xia Yan..."

He could still hear Tao Lu’s alarmed cries in his ear, and, faintly, Gu Yue’er’s voice.

...

The rhythmic sound of footsteps echoed in his mind, mingling with the pungent scent of medicine, making his body uncomfortable. In this environment, Xia Yan opened his eyes.

He found himself in a room resembling a hospital ward. Judging by the view outside, he must be inside the organization’s headquarters.

"This is the seventh floor of the medical building. How’s your body?" Tao Lu walked over and tossed him a bottle of water.

"Mm." Xia Yan took the water and asked, "Where’s Yue’er? How is she?"

"Don’t bring her up. When you suddenly passed out, I nearly lost the whole vehicle trying to pull you aboard. We’re lucky it could even fly after that," Tao Lu said with a wry smile. "A few minutes later, the vehicle was finished, but thankfully, some people nearby came to our aid, so we made it back."

"And Gu Yue’er?" Xia Yan pressed.

"Don’t worry. She’s injured, but not in any danger." Tao Lu smiled gently. "She should be waking up soon. If you have time, go see her."

"Thank you, Tao Lu," Xia Yan said gratefully. "I owe you a big favor this time. I even dragged you into danger. I’m truly sorry."

Tao Lu’s cheeks reddened as she turned away, her shoulder-length hair framing her face. "Well... I couldn’t just abandon my partner and run. Honestly, I felt pretty helpless at the time."

"Regardless, you saved both me and Gu Yue’er. I’ll remember this debt. If there’s ever anything I can do for you—anything at all—I’ll never refuse." Xia Yan’s voice was quiet, but resolute. To him, even a life-risking request would not be refused.

"Tch." Tao Lu gazed out the window.

Xia Yan made his way to the ward where Gu Yue’er lay. Her breathing was even, her lashes curled like a sleeping princess...

"If only she could sleep forever, right?" Gu Yue’er opened her eyes and said this dryly to Xia Yan.

"Yue’er, you’re awake." Relief flooded Xia Yan’s heart.

"I was always awake. I just couldn’t move because of my injuries." Gu Yue’er turned toward him, her gaze fixed. "So I saw everything..."

"Why?" Her eyes were pained with confusion. "Why did you save me?"

Xia Yan started, then gave a wry smile, unsure of what to say.

She had been the one to give him hope, even if she didn’t understand. Without Gu Yue’er, he would have remained lost, an ordinary man with no purpose in life.

Now, he stood at the front lines of the world, battling mutants and demons, growing stronger day by day. He had already saved up half of the two million credits he needed.

With another seventy or eighty credits, perhaps he could buy Ding Li’s freedom.

"Don’t you get it?" Tears fell down Gu Yue’er’s cheeks, but she smiled. "Why do you think I approached you, spent holidays with you? Don’t you understand?"

"Why?" Xia Yan smiled.

"I saw you as a tool, a way to escape myself," she said softly. "After joining the organization, I lost partner after partner. Everyone called me Death. I was terrified, so scared I didn’t even want to live. At that time, I met you."

"Xia Yan, you were the only person in my world completely unconnected to all that. I saw your suffering, your despair, your lack of hope or courage to fight—just an ordinary man at the bottom of society."

"That’s why I chose you, made you my refuge from it all. I couldn’t bear the pressure, so in front of you, I let myself be my best self."

"I hate you..." Her voice grew heavier. "I really do. Why did you have to change so much in so little time?"

"Do you know, the day you told me you were joining the organization, how much it hurt? How scared I was?" Gu Yue’er sobbed. "But I forced a smile, told you how surprised and happy I was."

"You stepped into my world and learned I was Death... In that moment, you betrayed me."

Xia Yan stayed silent.

"Isn’t it absurd, Xia Yan? The one who pulled you from the apocalypse, from the abyss, is so cowardly and selfish. Don’t you find it disgusting? Don’t you want to vomit?" Gu Yue’er made no attempt to hide her bitterness, so different from the ever-smiling girl he knew. "Yes, I really dislike you. Ever since you joined the organization, I’ve disliked you."

"Seeing you save me, I wasn’t grateful at all. In fact, I hated you. Why did you save me? Why not let me die? That was my choice—what right do you have to decide someone else’s fate?"

Her tears finally broke free, streaming down her face, soaking her hospital gown and the bed.

But they did not touch Xia Yan’s heart.

"Xia Yan..." Her voice deepened. "Aren’t you going to scold me? Hate me? Am I not the most despicable person? Do you regret saving me? Do you even want to kill me?"

"Yue’er, you’re letting your emotions get the better of you," Xia Yan said calmly. "I don’t hate you. I don’t regret what I did."

"Wh-why?" Her eyes were blurred with tears, full of confusion.

"I once loved a girl, was deeply hurt, fell into despair..." Xia Yan looked down. "When I returned to the world of the living, my heart was already shattered. That’s when I met you."

"I don’t care if the Gu Yue’er I knew was real, a mask, or if I was used..." Xia Yan smiled faintly. "You were the one who pulled me out of that darkness. Knowing just that is enough for me."

Gu Yue’er was stunned, her tears flowing all the more.

"Even if... Even if I watched a despised ability user die without lifting a finger, you wouldn’t care?" she asked in disbelief. "You could accept someone that despicable?"

"Compared to those in the convict prison, you’re as kind as an angel," Xia Yan said with a laugh. "If Gu Yue’er were truly despicable, she wouldn’t have risked her life for a comrade, and she wouldn’t be asking through tears if I hate her!"

"You know," Xia Yan continued, "if you were Su Zhu instead of Gu Yue’er, you’d greet me with the sweetest smile and say, ‘We survived,’ burying everything else deep inside."

"But in this world, no one is perfect. That Gu Yue’er never changed." He gazed at her. "Yue’er, you’ve already done your best."

"Ah—ahhh!" Gu Yue’er’s nose twitched, and she burst into tears. Xia Yan drew closer, held her gently, and stroked her hair.

"I hate you, Xia Yan..." she murmured, her voice as soft as falling rain. "But... I’m sorry."