If There’s No Gourmet Food in Ancient Times, I’ll Become the God of Cuisine

Author: Burial of Myriad Splendors

This is the most outrageous, most utterly insane transmigration I’ve ever seen. No one ever told me the ancient world would be like this! Corn? Nowhere to be found! Beef? Not a trace! Tomatoes? Absolutely not! Even the damned steamed buns are sour! All I wanted was a simple plate of fried rice with eggs, but you tell me the wok hasn’t even been invented yet?! I quit! I don’t want to transmigrate anymore! This is a madcap, rant-filled journey. Let’s unleash the sharpest, most biting, side-splitting complaints for this absolutely absurd transmigration! The book’s discussion group is now open—check the top comment in the comment section for the group number.

If There’s No Gourmet Food in Ancient Times, I’ll Become the God of Cuisine

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Chapter One: Rather than starve to death, it would be better to take one’s own life first.

The Lantern Festival had arrived, and Su Men Town was awash in a sea of vibrant red. The crackling of firecrackers rang out clearly through the unpolluted air of this era, so sharp that even a distant hill could not muffle the sound. Yet within the grand residence of the Zhuge family, the air was thick with the wailing of servants and attendants.

“Young Master! Young Master! You mustn’t! The Zhuge family has only you left; you are the sole heir!” cried a scrawny maid, her sunken cheeks betraying years of malnutrition, her voice trembling with sobs, making her already plain face seem even more pitiful. Though she was only sixteen, she looked every bit the part of a forty-year-old matron.

“Young Master, if there’s something troubling you, please just say it. There’s no need for such despair!” wailed another attendant, so thin he was little more than skin and bones. He clung desperately to Zhuge Buliang’s trouser leg, sobbing like a woman.

“Damn it, let go of me! How is a man supposed to live like this?!” Zhuge Buliang paid them no mind, stretching his neck toward the noose, intent on ending his life.

The Zhuge family owned the most prestigious bank in Su Men Town—Wanfu Bank. Zhuge Buliang was the only son of this illustrious house, handsome and impeccably dressed, his features the envy of young gentlemen across neighboring towns. No one could fathom why he would choose to take his own life.

This was no small matter for the Zhuge family, and the county magistrate himself was galloping over at breakneck speed upon hearing it. Word had it that th