Chapter Twenty-Nine: So What If I Don’t Play by the Rules?

What is happening here?

This was a filthy, chaotic alleyway, littered with tattered fishing nets and scraps of fabric. Thick moss covered the walls, filling the air with a putrid, fishy stench. The silence of the deep night only heightened the sense of terror. Even for someone who didn’t believe in ghosts, Ming Tian found the alley spine-chilling, as if he had wandered into a horror film.

But what was even more horrifying was the mountain of corpses piled before him.

They were all soldiers!

A quick count put the number at more than forty—enough to fill a high school classroom. Among the bodies were a few civilians, but each of these dead “civilians” clutched a blade in their hands, a sign that they were likely in disguise.

Most critically, the corpses were still warm!

Standing just five paces away, Ming Tian could feel the lingering heat from the heap of bodies. Bright blood slowly pooled across the ground, like freshly spewed lava. This fight must have ended only moments ago.

A sense of foreboding crept over Ming Tian.

Nan Lanling County held a position in Qi comparable to a first-tier city like Beijing or Shanghai—how could a massacre of this scale occur here, especially involving government troops? The disguised “civilians” had suffered far fewer casualties—the soldiers had lost at least forty or fifty men, while only six or seven of the “civilians” were dead.

Moreover, a woman had just cried out for help. Clearly, some powerful group was attempting to abduct the wife or daughter of an important official, and they were strong enough to slaughter so many well-trained soldiers at such little cost to themselves.

“Help me!”

Once again, the woman’s desperate cry echoed from around the corner—this time so close that Ming Tian could almost hear her ragged breathing.

“An Luo, check it out!” Ming Tian ordered, his sleeve crossbow at the ready.

Though taciturn and unassuming, An Luo was no ordinary man—he was a commander of a thousand. He silently stamped his foot, leaving a deep imprint in the yellow earth.

Ming Tian followed close behind.

Racing around the corner, they found several masked bandits in civilian garb lurking in the darkness of a dead end. One of them was clamping a hand over the mouth of a woman dressed in an ornate, embroidered robe.

Though the shadows hid her face, Ming Tian saw hope flare in her eyes when she spotted him and An Luo.

An Luo’s rage ignited!

“Hey! Brazen thieves, how dare you seize an innocent woman! I am… Well, who I am doesn’t matter. Let her go!”

Having learned his lesson from the bandits on the mountain, An Luo was careful not to reveal his identity, hastily changing his words.

Wait a second, “Let her go”? Why did that line sound so familiar?

The bandits, unruffled by being discovered, charged forward without hesitation.

All five moved with heavy, deliberate steps, their blades slashing so swiftly that even Ming Tian struggled to keep up. These bandits were highly skilled—Ming Tian figured he could only manage a draw if he fought two at once.

Better to leave this to An Luo.

“An Luo, I’m counting on you.” Ming Tian patted his shoulder, stepping back three paces to avoid getting in the way.

At his word, An Luo drew the two broad-bladed Yan Wing sabers gifted by Governor Yu and plunged into the fray.

On the battlefield, the usually simple-minded An Luo became an entirely different person—his twin sabers spun and flashed, holding his own without the slightest disadvantage against five adversaries of such caliber.

“Die, villains!” he roared.

A bandit, unable to evade, raised his weapon to defend. But An Luo’s monstrous strength was unimaginable—he cleaved the man, blade and all, cleanly in half at the waist!

Iron was harder to forge than bronze, and in the Southern and Northern Dynasties era, iron or steel weapons were still rare. But compared to the time of the Qin, they were far more common. For a governor, gifting a saber or two was no great feat.

The two sabers from Governor Yu had clearly been forged with the finest techniques of the age—unyielding and engraved with cloud-dragons, exuding a fearsome presence.

And with An Luo’s inhuman strength, how could these bandits’ bronze blades hope to withstand him?

Though these five were far superior to the mountain bandits of a few days prior, in such a cramped space, An Luo’s relentless onslaught left them no room to maneuver.

Defend? What a joke! How? An Luo’s power could chop both man and weapon in twain.

In less than two minutes, the five bandits were reduced to a pile of useless flesh, while An Luo—apart from heavy breathing—hadn’t suffered a scratch.

Only the girl and the last bandit, still clutching her mouth, remained.

“Impressive, impressive.”

To Ming Tian’s surprise, the bandit was not at all afraid. He trembled with excitement.

Ripping off his mask, he revealed a man of about thirty, sporting a long beard and eyes like knives, gleaming coldly in the moonlight.

“Get out of my way!” the bandit growled, flinging the woman against the wall. She didn’t even have time to scream before she collapsed, unconscious.

That this bandit remained so calm in such circumstances made Ming Tian uneasy.

Please, don’t let him be some kind of master. I really need to take a shit—I’m dying here!

“Let me introduce myself. My name is Liu Jian, because I can wield six swords at once.” Liu Jian threw open his robe, revealing six swords strapped to his waist.

Liu Jian was about to use all six swords… So, what, your mother knew you’d grow up to use six swords when she gave birth to you? What kind of idiotic logic is this?

Drawing two swords, Liu Jian’s face filled with murderous intent. “Such unfathomable strength—you must be An Luo. And you…”

He glanced at Ming Tian’s sleeve crossbow. “That sleeve crossbow—Cui Jue told me about it. You must be Ming Tian! Fate has smiled upon me—at last I’ve found you both! Now my great ambition is within reach! Hahahaha!”

Ming Tian blinked, then caught on. “You’re with the Wonton Rippers?”

A tic twitched at Liu Jian’s mouth. “It’s Chaos!”

“I just like calling you the Wonton Rippers. What are you going to do about it? Bite me?”

“You…” Liu Jian’s eyes bulged, at a loss for words after only two exchanges.

“Ming Tian, brother, what are the Wonton Rippers?” An Luo leaned back, curiosity written all over his face.

Seeing this, Ming Tian’s wicked sense of humor surged.

He stepped forward, growling as angrily as he could into An Luo’s ear.

“It’s hard to explain, An Luo, but just remember: anyone who calls themselves a Wonton Ripper is a depraved pervert. They like to assault pregnant women and little girls—they’re truly vicious.”

“What?!” An Luo’s sense of justice exploded. His hair stood on end, bristling like a Super Saiyan.

“Despicable scum! You dare prey on pregnant women and little girls? Today I, An Luo, will deliver justice!”

My god, this guy is way too easy to manipulate! Couldn’t he at least suspect I was making it up? I almost feel bad—though honestly, I wasn’t lying.

“Hmph, you think your brute strength alone can defeat me?” Liu Jian sneered, his lips twisting with disdain. “Ming Tian, both you and An Luo will die tonight! I’ll tell you my ambition: I want to become the greatest swordsman in the world! I’ve spent thirty-two years in this world, practicing day and night, all to achieve immortality and leave this wretched place behind. Tonight, you’ll be the first stepping stones on my path!”

With that, Liu Jian’s twin swords spun, reflecting the moonlight into dazzling wheels of light.

His swordplay was so fast it was hard to imagine how one could even dodge.

Even An Luo’s face darkened, sensing a formidable foe.

Ming Tian, however, merely wore the dead-eyed look of a bored fish.

This guy talks like a normal person, but why does he seem a bit dim? So much pointless blather.

As Liu Jian showed off his swordplay, he taunted:

“Well, Ming Tian? I’ve heard from Lord Cui Jue that you’re cunning and sly, but that won’t work on me. Do you see my technique? You must be from the modern world as well—have you heard that great truth from the novels?”

“What truth?”

The sword display was flashy, but Ming Tian yawned, already bored.

Liu Jian lifted his chin proudly, approaching An Luo step by step. “Before absolute strength, all schemes are but jokes! If you beg for mercy, I might—”

He never finished the sentence.

The whirling swords stopped. The swishing sound of blades vanished.

An Luo, preparing for a desperate battle, took two seconds to process what had happened. Then he saw the arrow lodged squarely in Liu Jian’s forehead. The man was dead.

Liu Jian’s eyes were wide open, as if he couldn’t figure out, even at the moment of death, what had just happened.

An Luo turned to see Ming Tian still holding his sleeve crossbow, the weapon in firing posture.

Ming Tian had shot him.

While Liu Jian was running his mouth, Ming Tian, shameless as ever, ignored his words and simply shot an arrow into his brow.

“Ming Tian, what just happened?” An Luo was still caught up in the tense atmosphere.

“What do you mean, what happened?” Ming Tian replied impatiently, stowing away his sleeve crossbow. He strode over to Liu Jian’s corpse, gave it a hard kick, then stomped his face twice for good measure.

“You asshole, what was all that posturing for? Can’t you see I’m dying to take a shit? If you want to fight, just fight—what’s with all the theatrics? Six swords, eight blades—are you filming a movie? I’m cunning, am I? You think you’ve got absolute strength, huh? Building up the drama, hoping we’ll fight you to a standstill so you can have a last-minute revelation and unleash your secret technique and finish us off? Swordsman? My ass! The only chatterbox with a sword I respect is Deadpool—who the hell do you think you are? Who’s got time to play your stupid game?”

With that, all Ming Tian’s irritation was vented.

“An Luo, take the girl back to the inn. Get Yin Chan out of bed to bandage her up.”

An Luo, stunned by this unorthodox turn of events, blinked in confusion. “What about you, Ming Tian?”

Ming Tian blushed. “This place is nice and secluded. I’m going to take a shit right here. What, want to watch?”

…