Seventy: The Maid Zhaoyu (Part One)

If There’s No Gourmet Food in Ancient Times, I’ll Become the God of Cuisine Burial of Myriad Splendors 3109 words 2026-03-20 08:01:45

“Ugh… I’m going to die. Is there any paper…? I want to make a will…” Lying beside the campfire, Ming Tian groaned in agony.

An Luo was continuously using clean water to wipe Ming Tian’s shriveled cherry.

After an hour of this, the bleeding finally showed signs of stopping.

Perhaps it was because of the blood loss, but Ming Tian felt that the swelling in his chest had gone down a bit. The problem was, with all the injuries, his chest was now completely numb…

This is the end; I can’t feel anything in my chest anymore. Won’t that cut half the fun out of future escapades? Maybe it’s better if I just die! If I managed to transmigrate once, surely I could do it a second time, right? But, come to think of it, the Lady’s thighs are really soft. Heh~ heh~ heh~

Feeling sorry for Ming Tian, and since it was already night and nothing else was pressing, the Princess took off her armor and offered Ming Tian her lap as a pillow.

Feeling the soft, warm touch at the back of his head, Ming Tian believed that life had reached its peak. And most importantly…

Because he was lying on his back, the sight of Xiao Xinzhu’s twin peaks before his eyes was nothing short of magnificent.

Duang!

“Huh? Ming Tian, why is that standing up?” Silly An Luo blurted out, exposing Ming Tian’s physiological response on the spot.

An Luo, you bastard, your mouth is just begging for a beating.

Ming Tian immediately blushed with embarrassment. Glancing to the other side of the fire, he saw Yin Chan, who was mixing medicine, staring at him with a “you pervert” look.

Hmm, I wonder if you can mix up a special medicine for terminal embarrassment?

The Princess, still somewhat innocent, noticed Ming Tian’s upright state and tilted her head in confusion.

“Are you feeling better, Lord Consort?”

Xiao Xinzhu was never one for many words, yet every syllable was as gentle as a spring breeze, soothing Ming Tian’s heart.

“As long as I can keep lying here like this, I wouldn’t want to die even if I were shot with a thousand arrows.” Ming Tian, though never in love before, had witnessed enough public displays of affection to pull this off without need for instruction.

His words made Xiao Xinzhu’s cheeks instantly flush as red as a ripe tomato. Even with his head on her lap, Ming Tian could feel her heart pounding wildly.

After hesitating for a long while, Xiao Xinzhu finally whispered shyly, “If you like, I’ll give you a lap pillow every day.”

Ahhh, I really have found myself a wonderful wife!

Ming Tian felt tears welling up. After thirty years of singlehood, he was finally about to taste the sweet side of life!

He decided: after parting ways with An Luo and Yin Chan tomorrow, he would take the Princess back to Sumen Town.

Since he was now in ancient times, he would follow tradition—first meet his own parents, then go to the Di tribe to meet Xiao Xinzhu’s family, marry her, and finally…

Graduate from virginity!

Tonight was their last night together as a group of four.

After Yin Chan finished preparing enough medicine for Ming Tian’s recovery, the four of them gathered around the campfire to talk.

Starting from Sumen Town, they recounted everything they had experienced along the way to the Princess, one by one.

Perhaps it wasn’t as arduous as the pilgrimage to the West, but it was far from smooth sailing.

The more Xiao Xinzhu listened, the more admiration shone in her eyes as she looked at Ming Tian.

“I’m sorry, Lord Consort, for making you suffer so much.” Xiao Xinzhu bowed her head in guilt, but her words were filled with affection.

“Silly girl.”

He reached out and gently stroked her long hair, as if petting a kitten.

Her snowy hair was exquisitely smooth, like the finest silk ribbon rather than mere hair.

With the sensation of her hair, the fragrance of the beauty in his arms, Ming Tian felt for the first time that his transmigration had been a stroke of luck.

To hell with great achievements! He wanted to spend a lifetime with her in this era! She was of noble birth, and though he was wealthy, she was a princess and not someone who cared about money.

She was gentle and beautiful, attentive and kind, and despite her albinism, there wasn’t a trace of sun damage on her, which spoke to her good habits.

Most importantly, despite her albinism, Xiao Xinzhu could personally lead troops into battle, proving she was strong and worthy of being cherished and protected for her gentle side!

Where in the modern world could one find such a woman?

For Xiao Xinzhu alone, Ming Tian felt that for this transmigration, he didn’t need any cheats or face-slapping scenes—having her was enough!

Although he had struggled to adapt at first, even thinking about ending his life, now Ming Tian only wished these peaceful days with her could last forever.

But—

As if to prove him wrong, just as the four were preparing to sleep and gather their strength for the journeys ahead, a sudden disturbance came from the bushes.

“Someone’s there?” An Luo, ever the experienced commander, was the first to notice. He drew his sword and leapt to his feet with incredible speed.

Ming Tian’s eyes narrowed. He loaded his wrist crossbow and sprang up to shield Xiao Xinzhu.

Unexpectedly, Xiao Xinzhu, now alert, drew her own sword and pushed Ming Tian behind her to protect him.

“Stay behind me, Lord Consort. I will protect you.”

Ming Tian was left dumbfounded.

What the hell is going on? My girlfriend is protecting me now?

Yin Chan, lacking combat skills, moved between them for protection.

The rustling in the bushes grew more intense, and several sets of footsteps sounded in quick succession. In the forest, they could make out five or six figures darting about.

What’s going on? Once wasn’t enough, now there’s a second time? Was public security in ancient times really this bad? We’re only two or three kilometers from Jiankang, right? Don’t tell me it’s more bandits?

Instinctively, Ming Tian crouched down, grabbed a piece of firewood from the campfire, and hurled it into the woods.

He hadn’t expected that; as soon as he threw it, he was startled.

It wasn’t five or six people—there must have been at least seventeen or eighteen!

“Who’s there?! Come out!!”

Don’t be fooled by An Luo’s usual silly demeanor; in battle, he was a completely different person. His rock-solid muscles alone would scare off ordinary ruffians.

But—

There was no reply.

Swish! Swish! Swish!

The sound of blades rang out; four knives suddenly appeared from behind, pressing against each of their throats before anyone could react.

So fast!

Ming Tian was stunned, realizing things had taken a bad turn.

How strong was An Luo? He wasn’t the brightest, but in combat, he was unmatched. Yet even he couldn’t react to the speed of these attackers—only a little slower than Liu Jian, who Ming Tian had taken down and left with a face full of excrement.

This speed—these weren’t mountain bandits, but more like well-trained modern soldiers.

Could local bandits really move this fast?

“All four of you, turn around, slowly! If any of you so much as flinch, I’ll slit your throats.”

From behind came a woman’s voice; it was far too righteous to belong to a mere female bandit.

At that moment, Xiao Xinzhu, hearing the voice, reacted.

“That voice… Zhaoyu?!”

Ming Tian could clearly hear the excitement in his future wife’s words.

“Huh?” Sure enough, the woman’s voice trembled slightly, and the blade at Xiao Xinzhu’s neck was withdrawn.

“Miss? Why are you here? Weren’t you brought in to be the Crown Prince’s consort?”

At these words, Ming Tian felt the blade at his own neck ease away a little.

Xiao Xinzhu turned around, her face lighting up with joy. “Zhaoyu, it really is you! What are you doing here? Are these your people? Put down your weapons—this is my consort, as well as my deputy and my friend.”

With her words, the blades were finally withdrawn.

Ming Tian breathed a sigh of relief, silently thanking his luck; it seemed they had run into an acquaintance.

Turning around, he saw that the leader of the group was a petite and strikingly beautiful woman, her face lit up with a bright, joyous smile.

“Lord Consort? Are you Lord Ming Tian, Consort Zhuge?” Her eyes shone with a hint of admiration.

Uh? I’m not some notorious playboy; I shouldn’t have any random relatives out there, right? Who is this? Wait… why does she look so familiar?

Staring at this classically dressed beauty, Ming Tian felt a sense of déjà vu. He stood frozen for a moment before it hit him.

This woman called Zhaoyu had features similar to his respected master, Zhao Ke. And since her surname was Zhao…

Could it be?

Sure enough, Zhaoyu glanced at Ming Tian, and her gaze finally settled on the red-threaded jade Buddha on his right wrist. Suddenly, her face darkened.

“L-Lord Consort…” Her voice, once bright and steady, now trembled as if numb. “That jade Buddha on your wrist… where did you get it?”

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PS: Consider these two chapters a warm-up; high energy begins tomorrow—brace yourselves! If your phone or computer screen explodes, or you die laughing while reading, I take no responsibility.

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