131: This is a misunderstanding!

With no other options available after a thorough search, Mingtian discovered that this place truly only contained white rice, wheat, and burr clover.

Oh, right, he also found three eggs... and absolutely nothing else besides those.

Good grief, how was he supposed to cook with this?

After a moment of contemplation, and after verifying the available seasonings, Mingtian managed to come up with a dish.

Since this was, after all, Wei Lai’s ruin, all the seasonings available in modern times could be found here. Not only that, but the kitchen was so advanced that it even had a range hood—would you believe it?

The imperial palace’s grand dining kitchen seemed utterly ordinary compared to this place.

With seasonings and cooking utensils fully provided, Mingtian was not completely out of options.

He asked Feier to grind the flour while he took two pounds of burr clover, intending to make a staple dish out of it.

No matter what, he couldn't just throw three eggs into a pan to make a perfunctory egg fried rice. If things escalated into a fight, Anluo would definitely be no match for Ji... Ji... Ji... Little Ji.

The seasonings in this kitchen were not only diverse in variety but also massive in quantity, especially the salt, which was in abundant supply. This allowed Mingtian to cook certain dishes that he couldn't make outside.

Burr clover and egg stuffed pancake! That was precisely the dish Mingtian intended to make.

Behind the bathhouse, there was a small pond stocked with grass carp, and they were the extra-large variety. If he could catch one, perhaps he could make fish balls to serve as a side dish.

However, Mingtian had never caught a fish before.

With no other choice, he took off his pants and stepped directly into the pond to catch one by hand.

Although these giant grass carp were bulky, they were extremely agile in the water and had slippery bodies. For an inexperienced person, catching one was exceptionally difficult.

Before long, Mingtian was panting heavily, forced to brace his knees in the pond and catch his breath.

Forget it, I shouldn't bother with the fish.

Just as Mingtian was about to give up, suddenly, something slippery brushed past his thigh.

Before he could even process what was happening, an intense wave of supreme pleasure surged up from his lower regions.

"Ooh~ That feels amazing! What is that?"

Looking down, Mingtian was utterly dumbfounded... Although it felt incredible, he was genuinely bewildered!

An oversized grass carp had actually mistaken Mingtian's prized artillery piece for bait and swallowed it whole in a single gulp.

However, grass carp lacked teeth, and their mouths were remarkably soft. Combined with the suction generated by its feeding instinct, Mingtian felt for a brief second...

Oh yeah~ I've ascended to heaven!!!

Could this even be considered fishing? My cannon actually had moves like this?

Wait a minute though... am I having intercourse with a fish? Yesterday I humped a wall, and today I'm humping a fish? What am I going to hump tomorrow? The tavern proprietress?

Still... it felt so good! He almost didn't have the heart to catch it anymore.

Anyway, catching a fish was a good thing.

Mingtian carefully scooped the fish out of the water. Though somewhat reluctant, he prepared to rescue his poor cannon.

To his surprise, the grass carp was not smooth at all, and its suction grip was unbelievably tight. Mingtian had to wrap both hands around its fish head, purse his lips into an O-shape, and spread his legs to exert force, vowing to pull it out in one go.

However, at the exact instant he completed this posture...

"Big Brother Mingtian, I've finished grinding the flour..."

Feier's voice suddenly cut off.

Having finished grinding the flour and wanting to ask Mingtian if he needed any more help, Feier had pushed open the door to the backyard, only to witness Mingtian being sucked by a fish, holding its head with both hands, and pouting his lips into an O-shape.

When it came to pulling out or thrusting in, if the posture remained frozen, the two actions were indistinguishable.

Seeing Mingtian embracing a grass carp, with that grass carp swallowing his entire artillery piece—this visual...

Was simply too breathtaking!

Feier was instantly petrified. For a young girl, this scene completely shattered her worldview.

"L... Little Ji, listen to my explanation, actually I..."

At that moment, Mingtian's face turned ashen.

What... what... what kind of trope was this?

"Wuwu... wuwu..." Two tears of sympathy welled up in Feier's watery eyes—not for Mingtian, but for the fish trapped beneath him.

"Big Brother Mingtian, how could you do such a thing? The little fish is destined to be eaten by us and is already so pitiful. You... you still want to humiliate it... Do you know how pitiful they are? Why are you such a pervert?"

A pervert? Me? Okay, I admit I might be a little perverted, but this wasn't my doing! It was the fish that wanted to eat it!

Mingtian truly felt like swallowing coptis root—he had grievances he couldn't voice.

"Big Brother Mingtian, you big pervert! I'm not talking to you anymore!!!"

With a loud thud, Feier slammed the flour bucket onto the shelf and burst into tears as she ran away.

It was over... his lifelong reputation was completely ruined.

He looked down at the grass carp. Those fish eyes were currently staring right back at Mingtian, and its tail flicked twice, splashing water all over Mingtian's face.

Returning to the kitchen, Feier had already been scared away. Mingtian wiped his face, resigned to his terrible luck, and began preparing everyone's lunch all by himself.

First came the fish balls.

Even though Brother Grass Carp had given Mingtian a fantastic thrill, he still had to say sorry.

Without needing to scale the fish, he chopped off its head with a single cleaver, sliced open its belly to remove the internal organs, patted away the blood, and placed the fish flat on the cutting board.

Using two kitchen knives, Mingtian used the back of the blades to pound the fish's abdominal cavity.

Under the repeated blows of the knife backs and the crushing of the bones, the surface of the fish meat was quickly mashed into a paste-like puree.

He scraped up the pulpy fish meat with the back of the knife, tossed it into a bowl, and continued chopping and scraping, repeating the process numerous times until he had a large basin full of meat paste.

The fish meat was mixed with a small amount of starch to ensure its consistency, seasoned with a splash of yellow wine and sauce to remove the fishy odor, and kneaded repeatedly by hand until the meat developed elasticity. Then, he squeezed out individual fish balls using his fist and dropped them into saltwater to rest.

Fish balls kneaded until elastic would not dissolve in water, so no additional steps were needed. Moreover, the texture of meticulously crafted fish balls was definitely incomparable to the modern gelatin-made instant fish balls, a fact Mingtian was quite confident about.

He tossed them into a pot, boiling them in saltwater, butter, and milk until the fish balls turned milky white before scooping them out. Since no other ingredients were available, Mingtian had no choice but to make milk-flavored mild fish balls.

Still, the taste of these fish balls wouldn't be bad at all.

Next was the burr clover and egg stuffed pancake.

The eggs were beaten and mixed with chopped scallions and a spoonful of water. For three eggs, adding just a small spoon of water ensured that, whether stir-fried, boiled, stewed, or braised, they would turn out much more tender than ordinary eggs. This was culinary common sense, though he couldn't add too much, as excess water would ruin the texture.

After washing two pounds of burr clover, he squeezed it into a clump and gave it seven or eight casual chops—there was no need to mince it into fine vegetable bits like wonton filling, just ensuring it wouldn't clump together once cooked.

He sprinkled a generous amount of salt and repeatedly kneaded the burr clover clump with force until the salt extracted its moisture and it turned a greenish-black color.

The flour was kneaded with oil and rolled out as thinly as possible. Then, the salted burr clover and egg liquid were added. Two layers of dough wrappers were pressed together to ensure complete sealing before being placed into the oven to bake.

Baking them at 150 degrees Celsius for 8 minutes using both top and bottom heat, followed by 2 minutes at 250 degrees Celsius, finished the job.

He had to admit, having modern electrical appliances even in this bizarre bathhouse brought immense convenience to Mingtian's cooking.

Fresh out of the oven, the aromatic scent of the burr clover pancake hit his nostrils, frantically stimulating his olfactory nerves.

He carefully cut it into eight portions and arranged them neatly on the plate.

Mingtian specially selected a relatively strip-shaped piece of stuffed pancake to place in the center of Wei Jingjing's plate, then placed one fish ball on the lower left and another on the lower right, making the arrangement on the plate resemble a certain male anatomy.

Hah, this plate would go to Wei Jingjing.

Mingtian thought with a mischievous sense of humor, nodding with an evil grin.

Anyway, the burr clover and egg stuffed pancake paired with milk-flavored fish balls was complete!

........................

[Emergency Notice] There is only one chapter today.

[Reason] I discovered that the previous chapters have been severely censored. Chapters 5, 69, and 95 have all suffered heavy deletions and manual modifications.

Especially Chapter 95, which was edited and censored into an absolute piece of trash.

And that was just the result of me randomly checking a few chapters.

Because of this, there will only be one chapter today. I will carefully review every previous chapter today. Although it will be difficult to salvage, I will do my utmost to rescue as much as possible and minimize the losses.

If you are reading this and remember any previous chapters with incoherent sentences, or dry, lifeless jokes that don't match my style, or issues with continuity in the later plot, please kindly notify me in the comments section. It will greatly speed up my inspection process. Thank you.