Chapter 23: Come out, I want to talk to you about the divorce (Please bookmark and follow!)
Although orcs have largely moved beyond the concept of being mere “beasts” and lean more toward “human,” some still avoid killing animals that share the same traits as their beast form.
The villainous woman, to disgust her several beast husbands, would always have them cook animals that matched their own beast attributes.
Today, Shao Feichen had caught a rabbit, so naturally, the task of cooking it fell to Ying Nian.
Ying Nian kicked the rabbit on the ground with a hint of disgust, tilting his head toward Gu Sihui. “You really want me to cook this?”
Gu Sihui, confused, nodded instinctively. “Then just do it.”
“Alright.” Ying Nian gave a cryptic smile. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
Thirty minutes later, Gu Sihui finally understood what he meant.
She stared at the plate holding several charred lumps of blackened charcoal and asked, dumbfounded, “Weren’t we supposed to eat rabbit? Where’s the rabbit?”
“This is the rabbit,” Ying Nian answered with complete confidence.
As his voice faded, a cold breeze swept through, and faint red flames flickered from the blackened lumps on the plate.
With a “bang,” one small piece suddenly exploded.
Gu Sihui:???
Gu Sihui:!!!
“Look me in the eye and tell me honestly this is rabbit meat.” Gu Sihui had heard of so-called kitchen disasters before and had even seen countless short videos about kitchen killers, but this was the first time she had witnessed one in real life.
How on earth could anyone turn rabbit meat into charcoal?
She simply could not comprehend it.
“Gurgle—”
Clutching her stomach, Gu Sihui asked a more pressing question, “Is there any actual rabbit meat left?”
“There is.”
Ying Nian said, tossing over several bloody rabbit heads.
The skinned rabbit heads revealed raw, torn flesh inside. Their eyes had been gouged out, leaving fresh, bleeding sockets.
The exposed teeth, no longer softened by skin, looked eerie and terrifying.
Gu Sihui’s heart trembled sharply, and for a moment, she imagined them as the hideous, grotesque zombies she had seen before.
“Ah!”
Gu Sihui screamed sharply, standing up to angrily confront Ying Nian. “You did this on purpose! Are you crazy?”
“Scared already from just this?” Ying Nian showed no sympathy, instead mocking her, “Even if I did it on purpose, what’re you gonna do? Call those trees to handle it for you?”
His smile faded into disdain. “Those big trees might be a match for Gong Zhengci and the others, but against me... they’re nowhere near enough.”
As a rabbit-type beastman, Ying Nian belonged to the swift Gale Rabbit breed.
Able to control the field and speed things up, the sluggish big tree was at a complete disadvantage—not only unable to catch even a strand of rabbit fur, but also easily fooled and tangled by Ying Nian’s antics.
The big tree stopped miserably, and Gu Sihui quickly comforted it by patting its trunk before coldly sneering at the elusive Ying Nian dashing about, “Ha, little rabbit, you don’t really think that just because you’re fast, I can’t handle you, do you?”
Ying Nian stopped, arrogantly confident. “Yeah, being fast means I can do whatever I want.”
He beckoned Gu Sihui with a finger, taunting, “Come on, come here.”
Gu Sihui didn’t move.
Instead, she strode over to Gong Zhengci and pinched his cheek lightly. “Gong Zhengci, come out. I want to talk about the divorce.”
Ying Nian stumbled as he dashed, and the big tree seized the opportunity, stealthily stretching its tendrils across the path ahead.
“Damn, a sneak attack? No honor!” Ying Nian cursed as he slid to his knees in front of Gu Sihui, shamelessly clutching her thigh. “Wait! I suddenly realize my mistake! Sorry, I was wrong! (Very loud)”
“Heh.” Gu Sihui casually pulled her leg free and slapped Ying Nian’s face twice, fully embodying the vicious villainess. “Dare to do it again?”
Ying Nian shook his head like a rattle, wishing he could shake his brains into a mush. “I won’t, I won’t.”
“Can you cook properly?” Gu Sihui asked again.
Ying Nian fell silent, whining, “But I really don’t know how to cook! Waaah...”
“Um, excuse me.”
After being ignored for a while, Gong Zhengci spoke weakly, “Weren’t you going to talk to me about the divorce?”
Catching the keyword “divorce,” Ying Nian stopped whining and sneered, “In your dreams! If anyone’s getting divorced, it’ll be me first!”
“Little rabbit, you’re really getting bold now.” Gong Zhengci’s eyes suddenly turned vertical slits. “Believe it or not, I could swallow you whole.”
“Alright, alright, I know I’m popular.”
Gu Sihui shamelessly jumped into the fray with enthusiasm as if Ying Nian and Gong Zhengci weren’t trying to divorce her but desperately competing to marry her.
Ying Nian:...
Gong Zhengci:...
Suddenly, neither of them wanted to fight anymore. (Smiles)
Returning to the main point, Gu Sihui truly had thought of a way to profit from the “divorce.”
“Ahem,” she cupped her hand to her lips and coughed twice, then spoke seriously. “Don’t worry, divorce will definitely happen, but before that, we should get along well, right? I admit I was excessive before. I don’t expect you to forget the past, but you do need to look over this divorce scoring chart.”
Gu Sihui produced a chart she had prepared long ago and handed copies to her beast husbands.
“To fully motivate you to divorce, I stayed up late making this scoring chart,” Gu Sihui declared confidently, feeling no shame. “From today on, I will score each of you. As the chart says, you each start with minus ten thousand points. For every thing you do to satisfy me, you’ll gain 1 to 100 points accordingly. When your score reaches zero, that’s when I’ll divorce you.”
Shao Feichen’s eyes bulged at the five zeros trailing behind the number. He was furious. “How long is that going to take? Might as well just kill you now and end it all!”
“But!” Gu Sihui shot him a scolding look. “Why are you always so impatient, little dog? Minus one thousand points.”
She pulled several agreements from her backpack, one of which Shao Feichen recognized instantly as the “Life-Saving Agreement.”
“Comrades, do you feel like normal points are too hard to earn? Like it’s hopeless just looking at the chart?” Gu Sihui’s tone was exaggerated, like a sales pitch at a pyramid scheme meeting, as if she was about to empty their wallets into her own pocket.
“Look, look what this is!” Gu Sihui passionately promoted her agreements. “This is the path to success I’ve prepared for you! Each agreement you have is worth a thousand points!”
She winked at Shao Feichen. “See, little dog, signing these agreements isn’t a loss, right? Isn’t it like earning points?”
At that moment, Shao Feichen forgot the humiliation he’d felt signing the agreements and eagerly produced the “Life-Saving Agreement” he’d hidden deep in his shoe sole, double-checking, “Really? You say this thing is worth a thousand points?”
Gu Sihui stepped back with a look of disdain, nodding. “That’s right, but...”
She covered her mouth, laughing like a foolish villainess at a wicked stepmother’s tea party. “Oh ho ho, you just lost a thousand points for your rude words earlier, so it all balances out. You’re still at minus ten thousand points.”